Beginning the ‘Boss Worthy’ movement has been a passion that fired up on the inside of me. One of my life’s passion is to inspire and empower women so let me just begin this with a little disclaimer. If your seat belt isn’t on, BUCKLE UP! We are about to get DEEP!
I wasn’t always 100% sure what my purpose was. I knew all of the trials and tribulations would soon lead me down the path God made for me and only me. I knew that sharing my struggles would help someone else know that they were not alone. Hell, it helped me realize I wasn’t alone during my lowest moments. We have to realize there is always someone else experiencing the same struggle (or sometimes worse). If they can make it, so can YOU.
On my 49th birthday, I decided: THIS. IS. IT! 2018 was a turning point for me. Throughout my life, I had endured so much hurt and pain I figured it was time to turn everything around for the better. My children are grown, I have already retired once, working a job that is exciting and constantly keeping my creative juices flowing. But, something was missing: Self-Love.
That was the birthday I decided that I was going to love Nikki for who she was and what she’s been through. It was time to turn Pain Into Purpose!
A host of things contributed to why (at 49) I decided this change needed to happen: the loss of a child, a teenage mother to twins, divorce, daddy issues, physical and sexual abuse. It may sound odd to say I was at my lowest point that year. The bubbly, friendly, kind-hearted Nikki you see today was facing so much internal trauma. The residue from all of my past experiences was affecting my current life.
One day, a very close friend that I confided in, just came out and asked me, “Have you ever been abused sexually?” To her surprise, my answer was “yes.” That moment of truth opened up the floodgates to facing the trauma I have gone through in life.
I began going to therapy. The type of therapist I needed was one that assisted me in my current life. I completely understand the theory of going back and telling my younger self, “You are worthy, beautiful, and deserve everything you came for,” but I needed to be able to tell my current self those same things as well. The residue from my past experiences has left me feeling worthless, suffering from abandonment issues, and fear of rejection.
My circle was very small and I didn’t share most things. Over the years, I became very guarded and didn’t trust a soul. So therapy was where I had to let everything out. That is where I had to face the facts and rebuild the life I wanted for myself.
My self-love journey consists of many things. I started reciting affirmations to myself daily. This helped speak life into what I wanted and needed. Even if you don’t currently believe it, saying it every day will slowly but surely change your mindset.
Take the pledge here to start these affirmations yourself
Another part of my self-love journey is identifying who’s toxic and cutting them off or limiting my involvement with them. Sometimes it may have been a toxic family member. So while I couldn’t completely cut them off, I can deal with them at a distance. The thing is, sometimes you are attracted to what you have always been used to. Toxicity has run rampant throughout my life, so at times I wouldn’t even realize I am dealing with the same person just in a different form. I had to cut it off!
My self-love journey has taught me a few things. You must love yourself first, you are not the only one, you must take action to take care of yourself, and it’s not selfish to take care of you! Throughout the journey of this blog, I am going to uncover many personal aspects in my life. Not only to re-introduce my brand but to be transparent and let you know I have been through it all. If I can make it, SO CAN YOU! This is why God put me in this position and I am ready to give you guys all I’ve got.
We are on this journey together, Boss Beauties, and we will make it out! So BUCKLE UP and get ready for the ride.
Story By: Nichelle “Boss Lady” Turner
Written By: Tyieshia La’She